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A couple of years ago I was about to take an evening stroll from a hotel on the island of Islay in Scotland. The barman called me back: 'Don't go out tonight,' he said, 'the midges are bad.'
I skipped the advice and stepped into the summer air. After a few seconds of sustained attack from millions of minute midges I decided the advice of an Islay barman should never be ignored - especially when it comes to midges. I was back in the bar in the time it took the barman to slice a lemon.
Out of the 34 or so species of midge found in Scotland, only one species bites with any great regularity. This is the Culicoides Impunctatus, or Highland midge, the most bloodthirsty midge in the world.
A midge is about the size of a dust speck. It has blotches on minute wings that close like a pair of sissors. But don't try too hard to remember what a midge looks like. If you are in Scotland in summer, Culicoides Impunctatus will introduce itself to you.
Only pregnant midges bite. They need a feast of blood before they can lay their eggs. This strong maternal instinct accounts for their mighty hunger. Before a midge selects its fast-food outlet, it strolls around the eateries, the victim's skin, to find the ideal dining spot. When this has been identified, the midge slices into the skin with specially adapted razor sharp mandibles. It inserts its mouth parts into the wound and enjoys a slug of warm blood.
Midge saliva floods into the wound to stop the blood congealing. An undisturbed midge can feast for up to 4 minutes.
When a midge bites, the human immune system releases a histamine at the source of the bite. White blood cells rush to the spot and start to repair the wound. The repair work causes the itching and swelling.
The human immune system takes three or four days to catch up with the effects of the midge bite. Visitors newly arrived in the Highlands are granted an amnesty at the start of their visit. If you are a first time visitor don't think midges won't bother you - they soon will.
Scotland provides the perfect habitat for the midge. Midges thrive in bogs, wet grassland and on miles and miles of rotting seaweed left high and dry by the March tides.
Although the midge season runs from May until September, midges are at their most ferocious during July and August. These months offer ideal conditions; not too hot, too windy or too wet.
A wet spring provides perfect breeding conditions for midges. Midges start life as an egg that hatches as a larva. It then becomes a pupa and finally a fly. The egg and pupa stage last just a few days. The larva stage lasts around ten months.
It is crucial that the larva and the pupa remain moist. If the larva or pupa dry out the midge won't develop. A dry spell from April to July spells disaster for the midge, a wet spells disaster for humans.
The West Coast of Scotland contains around 4 million hectares of ideal midge breeding ground. It is estimated that 24 million midge larva can develop on one hectare of land. Twenty four million multiplied by four million - off the wall. The grain of comfort - only pregnant females bite. But that's still about twenty four million multiplied by two million!
Through the years, man - who remember, invented the A-bomb - has devised various methods to keep the midge at bay. The first deterrent was smoke. Bravehearts in the past huddled around a smoky fire when the midges were out in force.
A portable alternative to fire are cigarettes or a pipe. But it is a timid midge that puts off its dinner by the smell of thick black tobacco.
Almost every plant under the sun: cypress, eucalyptus, geranium, lavender, lemon, has been put forward as a deterrent, none, except citronella have proved effective. Citronella worked but if it's used too often it turned users yellow. Chemical repellents are effective but they don't deter fanatical midges and some of them smell.
One of the most effective ways of reducing the intensity of attacks is to wear light coloured clothing. Studies have shown that light coloured cattle suffer less from midges attacks than dark coloured cattle.
Although it is hardly likely that anyone visits Scotland to be bitten by midges, but these tiny creatures are as much a part of the attraction of the country as the kilt, the haggis and bagpipes. Enjoy your visit but don't ignore the advice of an Islay barman.
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